DuraSOUL EATER!-it's really not
by CrackonKappacumbers
Summary: warnings of crack coming back in this story, Shizuo is a powerful being and containing the powers of the blue balls. He thinks he is the best but Izaya don't agree, Izaya enters battle mode with Shizuo after he kills a soul that went to darkness called kishins. The two super powerfully battle off in extreme combat. what could possibly happen? everything wrong happens r&r is luv -kl


**Your soul is mine C:**

 **soul eater like setting with half weapon shizuo and izaya in a crack world of fighting fun**

 **#it is not a true otp unless they have tried to kill each other at least once**

 **#shizaya/izuo**

 **and that's why they're the ultimate otp c:**

 **"and that's why I'm the best" - shizuo**

"YEAH TAKE THAT DUDE." Shizuo hit some ghost kishin with his mighty fists of fury.

"YEYEYEYEYEYE." He then flew into the air and back flipped awesomely shooting blue balls at him.

"Noooooo." The ghost flying man died. His name was Sammy. **R.I.P Sammy.**

"HAHAEHAHEAH HEH EHHH EHHHH I KILLED SOMEONE." Shizuo felt proud of himself killing that thing. He felt like a man.

"Wow I feel like a man." Just like I said.

"I wanna get some food now. Oh, wait, theres an evil ghost man soul floating by his dead body." Shizuo picked up the soul, and put it in his mouth.

"Ahh." Shizuo chewed it, and then the swallow. You could hear the little scream of agony from the soul as it went down his throat.

"Phoo. Yeah. That filled me up and powered up my super ball power." Shizuo felt very powerful, and tested this new POWER.

"I'm gonna go SMASH THE GROUND! AHHHH AHHHHH." Raged Shizuo's booming voice of manliness.

Shizuo jumped in the air like a ragdoll and put his arm blades at the ground, he shot to the ground with such speed, he probably lost some of his fragments of hair.

When the blow landed, the earth shook, and everybody heard Shizuo's mighty roar coming from the ground.

"OOOOH I AM THE BEST." Shizuo danced around like a monkey and threw barrels too. It hit a grass and it cried.

"AHA!" Izaya came from nowhere, and crashed right in front of Shizuo with his new face of POWER?!

"Holy shit. Your face is powerful." Shizuo was shocked by this new power of Izaya's.

"That's right you dummy. Your in for the most powerful beating of your life man." Izaya powered up his face by cutting his eyebrows, until the eyebrows turned into face fuel.

"UH HUH. MY FACE IS POWERED UP!" Izaya flicks his head up, and then glares at Shizuo, smirking.

"That can't be right... I AM THE BEST. YOU WILL BE THE ONE WHO DIES TODAY." Shizuo goes into his shoulder blade form. It's time for a epic battle between Izaya powered up face, and Shizuo super ball powered wizard old man who has some powerful shoulder blades OF POWER.

"But first it's time for a song." Shizuo gets his guitar, and sings a peaceful song.

Izaya hums with the nice rhythm

Until...

"I-I WANNA-WANNA I WANNA BE I WANNA BE." The volume changed suddenly, and so they continue singing on dancing around crazily and everything explodes.

Shizuo dances wildly shaking his arms up and down until his pants start dropping.

Izaya flicks his tongue around being a crazy yellow puppet.

The song goes on as the two warriors are still singing loudly.

"I-I WANNA-WANNA I WANNA BEEEEEEEEEE." Shizuo slams his guitar on the floor and obliterated it with some blue ball power.

"AHHHHH." Shizuo felt alive. So did Izaya powered face.

"NOW WE FIGHT!" Izaya starts running up to Shizuo and tries to jump in the air, but Shizuo jumps up too, and lashes two goodie shoes and stops him, as evil mans face is between Shizuo's legs.

Shizuo spins and kicks him down

"OOOOOOH." Izaya yells as his mighty face crashes.

Although, it was foolish of Shizuo to do that, it only made him STRONGER.

"Ohohohoh, you fool! I have become stronger! YEEEEEE." Izaya powers up even more.

"Damn, nothing can defeat that mighty majestic face." Shizuo had to think of something, before he could, Izaya shot his face laser, which was completely made from fragments of Izaya's face.

"Oh nooooo." Shizuo had no choice, he set the trap door on himself, by pulling the magic trap door he quickly made, and the magic trap door lever.

"Dang it." Evil man followed Shizuo down the really, really, really steep hole.

Evil man charged into the hole, face first, and after a second or two, he found Shizuo and flung out his tongue of longness and wrapped it around Shizuo.

"Ewww. What the hell?" Izaya flung Shizuo at the tiny corners repeatedly, and then threw him further into the hole with his tongue, shooting straight down to meet him there.

"I've had enough of this shit." At the last second they were about to reach the floor on the other side of the trap door, Shizuo used his super secret man yell.

"HOOUEH." It stopped time, and switched the places of Izaya and Shizuo.

Unfortunately, it stopped the speed, although... Evil man landed on his nose. Not his face.

"OH NOOOOOO. MY NEW NOSE." Izaya screamed running around and freaking out about his nose.

"What, it's just a nose." Shizuo knew nothing about Izaya's new nose, it was corrupted with the spirit of the magical dark nose wizard.

"WHO DARES TOUCH THE NOSE!" Izaya nose speaks.

"Holy, that's a talking nose." Shizuo was not expecting this. At all.

"Yes, I am a talking nose. You have touched me and now all of you shall pay!" The nose came off of Izaya.

"Nooo my nose." Luckily, Izaya's nose grew back.

"Yay." Izaya liked his nose.

The nose suddenly turned bigger, eventually turning giant and exhaled out from it's nostrils a shock wave.

"Oh, my god. Look out man!" Shizuo grabbed Izaya with his energy shoulders and flew up, stopping the wave from hitting Izaya.

"Oh, Shizuo thank you. You are a very cool person who is a money." Shizuo flew down with Izaya, and evil man stepped out of Shizuo's super shoulders.

"What? hey, I'm a money!" A little block figure comes out of the nose.

"Wait a minute.. what are you doing here?" The nose was confused. It probably had a lot of things in there, but... what is that?

"I am a money." The figure threw a money at everyone and disappeared.

"Oooh money." Shizuo stuffed the money in his money wallet that had money.

Izaya just threw it away. The nose sniffed the money and then blew it away. Shizuo ran to get both their moneys and put it in there.

"Anyways... you all shall face my wrath!" The nose spun around, and headed slowly for Shizuo and Izaya.

"Haak haak haak." Shizuo laughed at the attack. It's slow.

But wrong again, the nose was not doing a spin attack. It was charging a air attack.

"You should've attacked me when you had the chance! OHOHOH HEHEHEHAEH." The nose shot down from it's nostrils jars of billy syrup.

"RUN IN CIRCLES!" The first billy jar of syrup landed, it exploded with deadly syrup saying: 'BILLY.'

So far after a few thousand, it didn't touch any of them, they had super speed.

The nose landed.

"OK FLEA, IT'S TIME TO DO A DOUBLE ATTACK! or whatever you call it." Shizuo grabbed Izaya's face with one arm, threw him backwards, and shot energy blasts into his face.

Evil man charged right back at Shizuo, who had the nose in front. When it was the right time, Shizuo ducked and kicked Izaya's bottom, making him go even faster.

The attack was super affective! Izaya was still in the air after it hit the nose, so Shizuo jumped on top of Izaya's face, went in the air, and smashed his furious fists into the nose. It sneezed out a genie.

"Ew." Shizuo blew It away with his strong breath.

The nose got up, and sucked Izaya into it's nostril.

"NON! EVIL MAN IZAYA ORIHARA." Shizuo got right back to action, and ran toward the nose. The nose shot out Izaya, and it hit Shizuo with the enchantment of snot.

Shizuo got knocked back, and fell down.

"Oh, hey." Izaya was on top of Shizuo in snot.

"Ewww." Shizuo keeps seeing and touching snot everywhere.

"That all you got nose? HUH." Shizuo really thought he was nothing.

"Hah, take this!" The nose shot blasts of super snot into the air, as it hit Shizuo and Izaya.

" _Ewwwwww_." Shizuo couldn't take much more of this un-cleanness.

So he yelled his manly yell and blasted off the snot around him, and slided down, going under the nose, and upper cut it.

The nose flew into the air and spun.

"I'M BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" It disappeared into the sky. **Like team rocket c:**

"Hah, I showed him. WHICH IS WHY I AM THE BEST! OOOH YES I AM THE BEST!" Shizuo victory danced as Izaya just smiled and stared.

"Wait a minute... if I watched pokemon.. they have a gleam shiny thing... WHICH MEANS." The nose's train of thought was answered.

The nose crashed back down to earth, and inhaled a lot of air.

"I've had enough of this!" The nose started to glow.

"Secret nose of wisdom attack!" It spun again.

"WHAAA ANOTHER AIR ATTACK? HOHOH. I'M READY." Evil man jumped into the air. This time, it wasn't a spin attack or a air attack.

The giant thing dashed at Shizuo with such speed, and did a combo move. Hitting Shizuo with all the parts of the nose, and then finishing the attack with a:

"HMMMMM." It sent Shizuo flying off, and he hit Shinra.

"Thanks for breaking my fall Shinra."

"Your not welcome..." Shinra kicked off Shizuo, and got out his ketchup to heal himself from the damage.

"You gonna help us battle the nose?" Shizuo and Izaya could use the help.

"Like, no, I'm not fighting a fricking nose." Shinra ran away from Shizuo in a floppy form and drove away in his car made of corn.

"Meh." Shizuo teleported back to Izaya, the nose did the same to Izaya, but he kept doing it until they were flying on their own, it then shot a blue wall thing that made blue walls surrounding the earth.

"Wha? blue walls?" Shizuo looked around.

"Yes, hohooh, you will see what happens next." The nose shot Izaya down to the ground with some snot.

"Could you stop shooting snot, I swear If this final attack is another snot one." Izaya did not like snot, but Shizuo couldn't bear anything of that.

"Maybe." Indeed it was, the walls started to disappear and turn into toilets that sprout out gigantic balls of snot toward Shizuo and Izaya.

To make sure it hit them, the powerful nose jumped over both of them, freezing Izaya and Shizuo somehow.

"Nononononono. NOT SNOT." The balls were coming closer, Shizuo was going to kill the nose after this. If he survives...

"Hehehe, and then I shall destroy the world now that no one is in me way!" The balls were about to touch them until...

"THE SUPER SECRET KARATE CHOP PORK POWER OF OXY CLEAN MOVE!" Shizuo yelled, as he repelled the balls, and putting them right into the toilets with his mind powers, making them oxy clean bubbles and the toilets explode with cleanness.

"What? no!" The nose was worried.

"You shall face the super oxy clean power of clean Shizuo!" Shizuo suddenly had avatar eyes, but they were lighter.

"I better be off then." The nose tried flying away, but Shizuo would never forgive it.

He got out a gallon of oxy clean, and poured it on the floor, cleaning off all the Billy syrup and cleaning everything. The oxy clean power started weakening the nose.

"Oh noes, I cannot fly. Get it? noes?" Nobody got it.

Now that it was on the ground, Shizuo could finish him off.

"HAAAH." This was the last ounce of Shizuo's clean power. He summoned the oxy clean man, and he slowly approached the nose.

"NOT THAT ANYTHING BUT HIM!" It got closer and closer.

"Why why why why why." Until finally, it touched the nose once. It exploded with giant oxy clean bubbles that exploded as well, making everything in the galaxy clean, oxy clean. The nose was completely gone.

Shizuo lost all his oxy cleaning powers. He could no longer use them.

"Dang, Shizuo, you are the best." Izaya clapped slowly.

"Oh, why yes I am." Shizuo flung his hair in smugness.

The kappa appeared in the air, munching on a kappacumber and drinking kappacumber tea. He dramatically dropped the kappacumber and tea onto the ground, making everyone slowly see it fall down.

Kappa did not like oxy clean. It was everywhere. He liked everything purified and clean, but not oxy clean.

The kappa got onto the floor, and put his hands and feet on the ground.

"Wait, what's kappa doing?" Izaya asked.

"He would never go to do that.." Shizuo was worried.

Kappa was removing the oxy clean, and reducing it to clean. The world shook.

"Whoa." Shizuo tried to steady himself holding to his legs with his shoulders.

The shaking stopped, and now it was no longer oxy clean.

Kappa picked up his favorite smug cup, and kappacumber, and crunched on the kappacumber in satisfaction.

"Hm hm hm." Was all it said, disappearing.

"Well, you can't have too much clean." Izaya pointed out.

"Eh... NOW IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE HOW I AM THE BEST!" Izaya and Shizuo danced, suddenly everyone teleported to them and they all danced.

Simon was the best dancer. Even though he forgot lots of things.

"Wha?" Mikado blinked blankly. He danced away anyways.

In the end, everyone danced for no reason, and only Shizuo had a reason. Maybe Izaya. Oh, and the block thing was a money and Shizuo is the best.

 **THE END C:**

 **-kappalord**


End file.
